So, as my mother pointed out, it is possible my zukes are not being pollinated. This is very likely as I do not seem to have much bug traffic at all on my patio. I've only seen a bee once.
Because my zucchini seem to bloom while I'm at work and the blooms are done when I come home, I haven't really noticed which are male and which are female. I went out this morning to investigate and do a little pollinating, but it seems I only have males? That's a problem if you want your zucchini to fruit...
My tomato plant, however, has several green tomatoes for me to impatiently wait for to ripen. (:
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